Goodbye
by kimco
Summary: What if Enjolras got a serious type of cancer and only had one month to live. What if Enjolras never told his friends that he was dying because it would be too heart breaking to say goodbye? What did Enjolras leave for his Amis in his will? and how will Enjolras be there without being there? Modern AU. Enjolras\ Grantaire
1. Goodbye

**Summery: What if Enjolras got a serious type of cancer and only had one month to live. What if Enjolras never told his friends that he was dying because it would be too heart breaking to say goodbye? What did Enjolras leave for his Amis in his will? Modern AU.**

Chapter one

Enjolras POV

I didn't know what to do. When I die I want my friends to live on without the pain of me not being there. I wish I could stay for them. But I can't. The doctor says I'm dying and it will be a miracle if I last the rest of this month. I decided I would only tell one person of my cancer, so that the parting might be a bit easier.

" Combeferre," I called over from the table they were sitting at, " may I speak with you for a moment?" Combeferre leaves my friends and joins me in the back room.

"What is it Enjolras?"

I didn't know how to say it. I didn't know how to tell him. " Combeferre…I'm dying." Combeferre acted as though he didn't hear me.

" What?"

" I said…" I took a deep breath in, " I'm dying."

Combeferre blinked a few times, "What do you mean?" My breath becomes shaky and I feel tears fill eyes. Suddenly Combeferre seems to realise what I'm saying and puts his hand to his mouth. He shakes his head, "You don't mean…" I nod. Tears fill his eyes. He breaks down and puts his head on my shoulder. " No, this can't be happening. I-i-it can't you-you're too young to die!" He shouts into my shoulder. He cries for a few minutes. Then he pulls away, his eyes are red from the tears. "How long do you have?"

" The doctor said it's unlikely I will last the month." He chokes but lets me continue, "You must promise me not to tell the others." I glance over to the group who are singing songs together and laughing, "It would…kill them."

"Are you mad? This isn't something I can keep from them! They're your friends! They deserve to know!"

" I'm sorry…" I say, tears falling down my face, "I-I-I just can't t-tell them, I can't bare it! I don't want t-to see them suffer! P-please Comb-" I was cut off when Combeferre ran over and hugged me tightly.

" I won't say a word of it. Don't worry Enjy. I promise you."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I didn't feel well throughout the whole month. My heart was always beating fast, my head always hurt and I always felt like passing out. That was how I knew I was going to die today. I had a feeling in my stomach that told me that this day was my last. I woke up early and changed and pulled my will from my draw. I set it down on the desk so it would be easy to find.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I decided to not do much today, just enjoy the company of my Amis. "Enjolras," Marius asked, "what's the matter? You don't seem quite like yourself."

I found that breathing was getting harder every second. " Nothing, I'm just not 100% well today. I must have caught a cold." Combeferre looked at me wearily.

"Well," Grantaire said, "you always do work yourself too hard. Perhaps you're working yourself to death."

" Grantaire don't say that!" Combeferre shouted. The room went silent.

" It's ok Combeferre," I say trying to calm him, " besides, I love overworking for the people." Grantaire chuckled his drunken kind of chuckle, "and what's so funny Taire?"

" Oh nothing, it's just your stupidity that humours me that's all."

Suddenly, if it were even possible, my heart beat even faster, " My stupidity?"

" Yeah. I mean, you always talk of how you expect the world to change and how the people will rise but in reality the people don't actually give a damn."

" Taire!" Combeferre noticed me going pale and rushed over to help me.

" Combeferre I don't need your help. I'm…" I didn't have the energy to finish my sentence.

" Enjolras. Enjolras look at me!" I used all my energy to turn my attention to Combeferre before I collapsed. Combeferre caught me before I hit the floor. I could hear my friends gather around my body and scramble around in panic. I felt Combeferre lift me up and off the ground. I could hear Grantaires voice.

" Enjolras! I'm sorry! Wake up! Please!" I wish I could have.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next day

They took me to the hospital, but it was no use. I died. I was never going to make it. But I wish that I could have at least told Grantaire how I feel about him.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

No POV

Grantaire sat next to his motionless body. He didn't move when Combeferre came into the room and put a hand on his shoulder. " He didn't last the night…" Grantaire said to Combeferre. Grantaire let two tears fall onto his cheeks. " I loved him Combeferre…" Combeferre wrapped his arms around Grantaire, " And now he'll never know the truth…"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**To be continued**

**Love Lilly :)**


	2. I leave you

Hi guys! Just a heads up, all the characters are a bit OOC because they are morning for Enjolras.

Chapter 2

Combeferre's POV

I was at Enjolras apartment. I looked around the place. It seemed so empty now. It felt colder somehow. Marius walked in threw the door. He stood next to me. He placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Is he really gone?"

I didn't look at him, "Yeah," I said so quietly it was almost a whisper, "he's gone…and he's never coming back." I sniffed. I was on the edge of tears. But I couldn't cry. I had to stay strong. I had to. I couldn't show the pain I was feeling. I had to stay strong for my friends. Marius pulled me into a hug and started crying. "But it's going to be alright," I said comfortingly, "I can promise you that."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Grantaires POV

I can't believe he's gone. How can a god such as himself lose to cancer? I blame myself. If I hadn't have angered him maybe he would have lived a few more days. I hate him for not telling me of his cancer. I cared for him so much. It's just that I'm too utterly stupid to show it!

Jehan found me at my apartment on the floor of my kitchen trying to drink the pain away. He too had been crying for Apollo. His eyes were red and puffy. I was on the floor in the corner clutching a bottle of wine. He put a hand on my arm, "Don't touch me!" I yelled shoving his hand away.

"Look, Taire, you're not the only one that's hurting you know! Don't you think we all are going to miss him? Don't you think we're all going to find it hard to move on! We were his friends; we never wanted this to happen-"

"I LOVED HIM!" I shouted, crying now. "I fucking loved the man! There was no one else in the world like him! And now he's gone! He was the one reason that I am living! Without him I might as well be dead! At least then I would be with him!" I broke down and Jehan wrapped his arms around me.

"Don't worry Taire. Everything will be fine…the pain will go…in time."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Combeferres POV

All the Amis were in Enjolras house. Well, it used to be his house. I sat on the couch next to Courfeyrac. We were all morning for the loss of Enjolras. Even Grantaire had managed to get up from his apartment to make it over here.

"Isn't it strange," Grantaire said sadly, "I always have this strange feeling that Enjolras will walk through that door, and that life would continue as it should. But no. I saw his body with my own eyes. I know he's not here. And he never will be, ever again." He makes a sad sarcastic laugh, "you know, this room still has his sent. Smells like soap." Marius walked over to Grantaire and sat him down on a chair.

"When are we reading the will?" Marius asked.

"Whenever." Combeferre replied, "We could do it now. We're all here aren't we?"

It was true, all the amis and Eponine and Cosette were there. Even Gavroche and Azelma were there. "Do it now," Grantaire said, "save us from having to wait for no reason."

Combeferre pulled the paper from his bag. He read:

The last will and testament of Julian Alex Enjolras.

To my dearest friends, I leave my belongings to the following people. To Gavroche I leave my red jacket and cravat. To Eponine I leave my house and money. To Combeferre I leave you the leadership of Les Amis D'l ABC. To Jehan and Joly I leave all my books except for my diary. To Courfeyrac I leave my guitars. To Cosette I leave my silver ring. To Marius I leave my gold ring. To Feuilly I leave my farm house in your care. To Bahorel I leave my stamp collection. To Azelma I leave my red scarf. To Grantaire I leave my diary, my piano and second in command at Les Amis D'l ABC.

And to all of my friends I leave these words. Although I am no longer with you and although this may be hard, you must never give up, keep fighting. I am watching you. Although I'm not with you, I still live on in your hearts. Vive La France mes Amis!

Forever with you,

Julian Enjolras.

After he finished reading it out loud he put it on the table. "And that is the end of it."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Combeferres POV

Everyone had claimed what Enjolras had left. I for one was honoured to be left leader of Les Amis. But why me? I know I am the second in command but I'm not 100% sure I would be able to manage the stress. Unlike Enjolras, who was are fearless leader who wasn't afraid of the devil himself. But he's not here anymore. And I am honoured to take his place as leader. Although I will never be able to replace him, I can heal the wounds his death has caused.

Gavroche was wearing Enjolras red jacket and clutching the red cravat as hard as he could. The jacket was way too big for him but he couldn't care less. "How are you feeling Gav?" I asked him, ruffling his hair.

"He was like a dad to me." Gavroche said sadly sniffing, "the best dad I ever had."

I knelt down so I was the same height as him. "Gavroche, he's still with us. He's up there, watching over us. He'll never leave us, I can promise you that."

"I believe you Combeferre."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Grantaires POV

Why did he leave me this? Why would he want me to know his private thoughts? I looked at the diary debating whether or not I should read it. "What's up?" Eponine came in from behind me.

"I really don't know what to do with it…"

"He wouldn't have left you it if he didn't want you to read it." Eponine said to me.

"So, what are you going to do with all that money Enjolras left you?"

Eponine shrugged, "maybe start my life fresh. Enjolras was always trying to get me off the streets, always trying to lend me money to by myself food, but I never let him. But now I have no choice but to take his money." Eponine giggled, "it's funny, even though he's gone, he's still so pushy."

I laughed with her, "Yep, that's our Enjolras."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was by myself at my flat. I sat on my sofa and pulled the diary from my bag. I opened it and the first page read:

Dear Grantaire,

I have left this in your keeping to show you how I really feel about you. As you can see I have book marked the pages that mention you. Feel free to read the rest though I honestly don't mind anymore. Grantaire, this diary talks about how much you mean to me. Please don't forget that. I never say this to anyone, not even my own parents.

I love you, Nicholas.

Yours forever,

Enjolras

I found it hard to stop the tears from falling. I looked inside the diary. There were many things written about me. The first few pages were quite hurtful. They said things like 'he is a drunken cynic' and 'he believes in nothing'. But when I read on he starts to be drawn to me and says things like, 'he can be kind when he wants to be' and 'he is capable of great things.'

Near the end of the diary he confesses his love for him:

Whenever I am with him I feel as though my world is turned upside down. He makes me feel happy. I don't know why. He makes me laugh and no one ever makes me laugh. I can be harsh on him, but deep down inside I know I will always love him. But why that is I will never know. I love everything about him, but he would never feel the same way for me, after all he is a straight man right? The only way I would ever be with him is in my dreams. I dream about him day and night, but he'll never know the truth about how I feel, if only he could know.

At the very back of the book Enjolras wrote:

Thanks for the adventures, now go have some new ones.

Julian Enjolras.

Grantaire fell closed the book and held it close to his chest. He let the tiers fall freely, slowly crying himself to sleep.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

No POV

The next day I took the piano Enjolras had left me out of storage. I decided I would keep it in the café Musian, it looked best there anyway. All the Les amis were there, helping me move it in. When it was set on the floor I opened the lid of the piano and sheets of paper fell onto the floor. Grantaire picked them up off the floor. They were sheets of piano music. Grantaire recognised the music very well. It was a song that the Les amis all knew. At the top of the music sheet, Enjolras had written:

Dear Amis, This song is dedicated to you. I'm thinking of you all, please don't forget me, I wouldn't dare forget any one of you. Julian Enjolras

Grantaire placed the sheets of music on the piano. As soon as he sat down and his fingers started to dance on the keys, all the Les Amis turned their heads at the familiar tune. Soon they all started to sing along.

"Drink with me, To days gone by, to the life, that used to be, let the shrine of friendship, never say die, let the wine of friendship, never run dry, here's to you,"

And Grantaire finished the song, "And here's to me."

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To be continued

Love Lilly :)


	3. Notes and rings

**Hi guys! I'm suffering from the flu right now so I wrote this. Enjoy :)**

No POV

Marius was sitting outside the Musian. He hadn't looked at the ring that Enjolras had left him yet. He had the box in his hand. He opened the box to see the gold ring in the centre and the silver one sitting right next to it. The silver one was the one Enjolras left to Cosette. Marius found a small, wrapped up note in the corner of the ring box. He pulled it out and unfolded it. It read:

_Dear Marius,_

_I'm a bit annoyed with you. You refuse to propose to Cosette. WHY! Is it because you're scared? Scared of what? Commitment? Or is it because you think you're not good enough? Or is it because you don't think Cosette wants to get married? Firstly, of cores she wants to get married! She's been hinting you for ages! Secondly, Cosette has talked to me about this before and trust me, she wants you two to be together until the day you die, so don't Lose her. I'm just trying to look out for you. I'm missing you my good friend. Now, get going, get down on one knee and ask Cosette to marry you._

_Julian Enjolras_

Marius finished reading the letter and it was true. Marius did think Cosette was looking for someone better, and he was always thinking that he wasn't good enough for her. But now, he had to propose to her.

Cosette came running towards Marius. "Marius where have you been? I've been worried sick!" Marius smiled at Cosette and held the box out. He then got down on one Knee.

He said, "Cosette, you are the love of my life and our love is forever lasting. I want us to be together till the day we both die. So, Cosette, will you marry me?"

Cosette was stunned into silence. She put her hand to her mouth as Marius pulled the silver ring from the box. Cosette nodded and said, "Yes, I will marry you Marius."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Eponine," Gavroche said. He was still wearing the jacket and Combeferre had tied the cravat around his neck, "I found this in the pocket of my jacket." Gavroche handed her a peace of paper that was hidden inside the jacket. "I can't read it, can you read it to me?"

Eponine opened the note and read:

_Dear little Gavroche,_

_What can I say? I'm not with you anymore, but it's ok. Do you want to know why Gav? Because you're just as strong as I am. You have a great heart Gavroche, and don't you forget it. You are destined for great things. I wish I could be there to help you threw life, to pick you up when you fall, to hold your hand in the darkest of times. But now I realise, you don't need me Gavroche, you've got the Amis and the most loveing sister you could ever dream of. And it's not like I'm not there, I am, you just can't see me! I'm watching over you in a better place. You know, I always thought of you as a son to me. I always imagine that you will grow up to become a leader such as I. Take care of yourself kid._

_Love Enjolras_

When Eponine finished reading the letter and looked at Gavroche, she saw his eyes full with tears. Gavroche took the letter and put it in his pocket. He stood tall and gave a solute to the sky and shouted, "Vive la France!"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Grantaires POV

"So," I said to Eponine, "what do you plan to do now?"

Eponine sighed, "I left some money to Gavroche for when he's older."

"Is that it? Eponine you know you're basically rich right?"

"Well…" Eponine started, "I was hoping to open up my own business. I've wanted to own a cupcake business ever since I was a kid."

I smiled at her, "Then go do it! You can do anything you want now, just don't blow it all off. Ok?"

Eponine smiled, "Ok. You know I still can't believe he's not here anymore. It's real heart breaking to see him pass."

I close my eyes for a second, swallowing my emotions. I cleared my throat, "Yeah. I always thought that when he died I'd die by his side as well. But you know what?" I say taking Eponines hand, "We can't live in the past. Enjolras is…not here anymore…and…and that's ok, because we still have each other…and even though he's in heaven, I can…still feel his spirit with us."

Eponine pulled me into a hug, "I can too R, I can too."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

No POV

Feuilly entered the Musian where everyone was already chatting and doing their own thing. Feuilly cleared his throat, gaining attention from the other Amis, "Listen everyone, I'm going to the farm house tomorrow. If anyone wants to join me, they are welcome to."

"I'll come." Grantaire said.

"Yeah, I'll come too." Eponine said. Soon everyone was going to the farmhouse. They would never have guessed what surprise was waiting for them there, at Enjolras old Farmhouse.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**To be continued :)**

**Lily**

**P.s. the next chapter is going to be pretty intense **


	4. The last goodbye of Julian Enjolras

Sadly guys, this is the last chapter of this story. I've enjoyed writing this and I hope you have enjoyed reading it. Please leave a comment on what you thought!

No POV

The group were driving down to the farmhouse. It was about an hours drive. No one had ever been to Enjolras farmhouse except for Combeferre and that was when he was fifteen.

The farmhouse had many animals such as pigs, cows and chickens, which was quite surprising considering Enjolras was a vegetarian. Feuilly had the key to the house and was just about to open it when the door was cracked open by an old man. The man peered through the door. He was wearing some sort of butler uniform. "Are you Mr Feuilly?"

Feuilly nodded, "Um, yes, I'm the new owner of this house." The old man opened the door and led the Amis inside.

" It is a pleasure to meet my new master. My name is Philip; I am the keeper of this house. I've been expecting you, though I didn't know when you were going to arrive so I haven't prepared any tea."

"We're fine thank you." Eponine said.

"Master Enjolras told me there'd be quite a lot of you." The old man smiled. He led them to a living room where the group sat down onto the sofa. "Master Feuilly, may I speak to you for a moment, the rest of you, feel free to wonder around the house."

Feuilly then left with Philip. He followed him into the dining room where they sat at a table, "Now," began Philip, "I need to go over a few things about the house. Firstly, all the staff in this house come with the house, as in we have permanent residence here. Secondly, you have a key so you are free to walk in an out of here whenever you please. Thirdly, Master Enjolras has requested that Miss Helen and Miss Cathleen have a residence here as well as they have lived here for quite some time now. Fourth-"

Feuilly interrupted Philip, "Wait, sorry to interrupt, but who's Helen and Cathleen?"

Philip looked surprised that he didn't know, "You don't know? Really?" Feuilly nodded, "Helen is Master Julian's one and only Daughter. Cathleen is his mother."

Feuilly was stunned, "W-what?"

"You didn't know he had a child?" Philip said sitting up straighter. Feuilly had frozen in shock, why had Enjolras not told them? Why didn't he tell them about his somewhat, family? " Master Julian and Miss Cathleen had one night stand when they where both reasonably drunk years ago. They accidently had Helen. Cathleen was a poor woman and couldn't afford to look after a child, and master Enjolras didn't have the heart to let the child die and the woman suffer, so he let them stay here, in this farmhouse. One of the reasons why he comes to the farmhouse at least once a week, honestly, I thought you'd know."

Feuilly didn't know what to say.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Grantaires POV

Feuilly walked in with Philip a few minutes later. Feuilly looked extremely ill. Combeferre walked over to him, "Are you alright Feuilly, you don't look too well."

Feuilly took a moment to clear his throat and said in a quiet voice, "There's something Enjolras didn't tell us. Something he should have told us a long time ago." Feuilly sat down on the sofa and we all gathered round him, "Enjolras has a daughter." I wasn't sure I heard that correctly. No, it couldn't be true. Enjolras would have told us, I suddenly felt some sought of anger and sadness bubble up inside of me.

"What?" Marius said.

" Her name is Helen, her mother and Enjolras had a one night stand and now they both live here. Julian and Cathleen never had feelings for each other though, I can assure you." Philip said.

"Great," I said sarcastically, "There anything else you'd like to tell us about Julian? Is he married too?! I wouldn't be surprised!" There was pure anger and hurt in my voice, "Did he not trust us with his private life?!" My little break out was interrupted by a little voice coming from the doorway.

"Philip, who are they?" The voice came from a girl who looked about nine. She had blonde wavy hair that went up to her shoulders. She looked around at the new faces, probably frightened. The girl ran over to Philip and hid behind him.

"Everyone, this is Helen Enjolras. Helen, these people were friends of your father." Helen slowly stepped from behind Philip. "She's not normally this quiet."

Helen skipped over to me and tilted her head to the side, like what Enjolras used to do when he was studying something. Helen then said, "Daddy has a picture of you in his room. He talks about you." That sudden statement took me aback.

"Really?" I asked, kneeling down so I was eye level with her, "He talked about me, to you?"

Helen nodded, but then I saw her eyes begin to fill with water, she sniffed, "He's not here anymore…" tears fell down her face, "I want my daddy back…" she wiped her eyes. I noticed that her eyes were the same sea blue colour as Enjolras eyes were. I don't know why but I pulled her into a hug and, surprisingly, she wrapped her arms around me.

"Don't worry," I said comfortingly, "everything will be fine… I promise."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

No POV

The group decided to stay the night. That evening, Gavroche decided to go for a little walk around the farmhouse. He went out into the stable where some animals were kept. He was just petting a horse when he heard a voice behind him says, "What are you doing?" Gavroche turned around and saw a girl about her age standing in the doorway with her arms crossed and an angry look on her face.

"Sorry miss, I was just taken a look around ya barn."

Helens expression softened, "Well, that's fine, just next time, could you possibly ask before hand?" That was when Helen noticed Gavroche wearing her fathers' jacket, "Where did you get that?"

Gavroche looked down at the over sized jacket, "Your dad left it to me in his will." Helen sighed sadly at the mention of her father and Gavroche suddenly felt guilty for mentioning Enjolras. "Has anyone told you, you're real pretty?"

Helens head snapped to Gavroche, "You think I'm pretty?"

Gavroche turned away slightly to hide the blush that was creeping onto his face. He shoved his pockets, "Well, yeah."

Helen giggled, blushing slightly, "Well, aren't you a gentleman. Sadly, I'm not a big fan of weaklings."

Gavroche then snapped out of it, "Hey, who you calling weak?"

"Oh, come on, nice guys are always stuck up weaklings who are little suck ups that always say please and thank you." Gavroche then shoved Helen into a muddy puddle on the ground, getting her covered in brown patches of mud. Helens jaw dropped.

"I'm no weakling darling!" Gav said with a smile. The smile was soon wiped off his face when Helen pulled him off his feet and pinned him in the muddy puddle. Helen laughed.

"I'm no weakling either darling." Gavroche tried to be serious but couldn't help but laugh. Helen let him get up and they both went inside laughing and playing and holding hands.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ten years later, Gavroche and Helen are in a happy relationship and it is the day of there wedding. Helen had requested that they get married at the church where her father was buried. Everyone was inside the church. Grantaire was standing at Enjolras stone. On it read:

_Julian Alexander Enjolras, loyal friend, loveing father and noble fighter for freedom._

Grantaire found himself talking to Enjolras, "Hey E. So, you're daughter's getting married to Gav. Bet you didn't see that coming. You know you've missed a lot. Your daughter's had a kid. They named him Julian the second after you…I miss you Enjy. I just wish you could be here to see everything that's happening. I wish I could have told you how I felt about you. Maybe you already knew? I don't know. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to move on from you, but now I realise, I never will be able to. You want to know why? Because love only happens once, and what we had, was love…I was just too late."

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**Tell me what you thought! I love you all! By the way, no story is left behind so if you're waiting for one of my other stories to be updated, don't worry, IT WILL BE FINISHED!**

**Love you guys!**


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